So basically, as the title would suggest, I am now famous.
I have achieved notoriety on a major scale. I’ve reached dizzying new heights of stardom, and I am never coming back.
And no, it’s not because of my new article on Hello Giggles (which you can read here.) (And yes, I have been waiting for any excuse to get that into a post.)
A little while ago, I was getting a lot of traffic referrals from Smosh. When I finally decided to find out what all the fuss was about, I discovered that a picture of me had been included on this flattering list:
I’m officially classed as an ugly sneezer. So at least that’s one of life’s most important questions answered in one of the most public ways possible.
And if that wasn’t cool enough, in the comments people began discussing if I, “Picture Three”, could be considered attractive. Me! And my stupid hair and stupid face! Many people said no, that I was not. That I was an insignia of superficial and cosmetic conformity in teenage girls of the 21st Century. Just cos I gone done my hair all silly.
I’m in my mid-twenties, IamApie69. I pay bills and watch Panorama. I don’t even do shots on a night out anymore, man. I’m a proper grown up.
Some said I was singing, and this person claimed that I was their next door neighbour in Australia, and that I sneeze all the time:
They are obviously trying to jump on my glitzy, fame-laden, diamonte-encrusted bandwagon, because I can confirm that I neither live in Australia nor sneeze all that much.
You know you’ve made it when people start arguing over whether you’re ugly or not. I only wish I could show all my haters (Haters! ME!) what I looked like a mere hour after that photo was taken, when my cold really set in:
And the argument would be settled: I am beautiful.